Since it’s Christmas week – I figure this is a great time to learn about the gift that Bronson gave Kelley for her first Christmas as a Princess Becoming. We’ll pick up the what-happened-to-Kelley-at-her-first-traveling-class next week.
With the success of Soapies and her new traveling classes, Bronson realized that she could use something else. Something that would give her a real boost and get her name out there far faster than even a ravishing pack of elves or spirited fairies. So he invented the internet. Obviously this was looooooong before electricity and well before Steve Jobs and Bill Gates brought us into the computer era and you might be wondering – internet? Huh? Wha?
This was not your modern-day internet. No, this was more of a telepathic harmonious broadcast — a bit like the way scientists today use home computers to harness the power of multiple processes at once. Bronson, being the clever and resourceful gnome that he was, was able to harness the brains of sleeping humans to create a network via which Kelley could transmit data to the farthest reaches of the known world. I’m a bit sketchy on exactly how all this worked but from what I’ve been able to gather from Kelley herself, as the peoples of the world lay sleeping, their brains were somehow linked to one another, passing information rapidly from one person and town to another. Kind of like a telegraph or even Facebook – but infinitely more cool, of course.
Upon awakening, the information that had been passed to each person remained in their consciousness, every person assuming theirs was an original idea or thought. Or as in the case of her classes, thinking that someone had told them about this exciting event and that they should immediately tell everyone else. And RSVP to be sure there was space enough for them.
Obviously this was not a gift that one could wrap a bow around. Even Kelley wouldn’t like a houseful of slumbering people. Not to mention, that’s just slightly more than a bit creepy. So in a gesture that was so romantic, it could bring tears to your eyes (or make you gag), he poofed! with Kelley into a beautiful alpine meadow and over a delicious picnic lunch, told her about what he had created for her. To say that she was excited is an understatement in the truest sense of the word. I won’t go into the details, but let’s just say that there was kissing involved. And if someone had been there to witness a glowing red-headed beauty kissing an ugly little gnome. Blech. But Kelley had seen past the exterior and though it sound blase and kitschy.. she was drawn to the inside. Bronson’s thoughtful, caring, considerate, and loving inside.
So there you have it. The greatest Christmas gift Kelley had ever received. It would come in super handy, for sure!